Henry Says the Darndest Things

Here are some random funny things that Henry has been saying lately. I can't think of a way to tie them together into one coherent blog entry, so you're getting a bullet list. And you'll like it.

And yes, the photos are of my son's feet. I painted Henry's toenails today at his request, like any good mother would.

• The other day Henry told Jack, the very sweet eight-year old next door, that he loved him, that he was his best friend, and that he did not want him to die.

• Henry and I were discussing last names. We went over everyone in our family with our last name, and then moved on to the next-door neighbors. The mom and kids have one last name and the dad has a different one, Johnson. We went through each person and each name, and then Henry said them again: Zoe S., Jack S., Paige S. and C. Johnsonville. I guess we've been grilling brats a little too often this summer.

• The same neighbors gave us a plant when my dad died. Henry has started talking about his grandpa dying a bit lately, and he said, "Grandpa died, and now we have a plant."

• Henry told me that his stuffed tiger works at the courthouse. I asked, "Oh, does he work with Paige (a public defender)?" Henry paused and said, "Not recently."

• Sometimes when Henry does not want us to do something, like change his diaper or put on his sandals, he'll say, "I'm busy!"

• The other day Henry wanted my husband to help him build a lighthouse out of cardboard "bricks." My husband told him he would, but asked that Henry get out the bricks. Henry said, "But you know how to do that."

• One morning Henry told my husband, "I want to make a mobe." My husband said, "Okay, make a mobe," and Henry said, "You're supposed to say, 'What's a mobe?'" So my husband said, "What's a mobe?" and Henry replied, "It's a sidewalk."

• Some mispronunciations that I may have already mentioned: apple trips (apple crisp), hop-sis (hospice) and hot air gaboon (hot air balloon).
  

• When asking a question Henry always says the negative of what he wants to know. For instance, if I put my shoes on, he'll say, "Why don't you put your shoes on?" or if a neighbor rides by on her bike, he asks, "Why isn't Patti riding her bike?"

• On a recent rainy day, Henry looked out the window and said, "Rain rain go away. Come again another time."

• I've been trying to explain the concept of saying you're sorry when you hurt someone. Henry gets it, but he's also begun intentionally injuring me so that he can say, "I sorry. Tiss! (kiss)" Not really what I was going for.

• I was reading him a book from the library called Hats Off for the Fourth of July. After I read the title Henry pointed to the cover and said, "Their hats are on." Not thinking, I said, "That's right," and he replied, "But you said, 'hats off.'"

• The other morning he told me, "I'm WET!" I said, "Okay, let's change your diaper," and he replied, "Not yet. I'm still peein'."

• Henry has long had trouble with the difference between the words "beard" and "beer." My husband recently tried to explain it to him: "I drink beer. I grow a beard." Henry responded, "You drink beer, and it comes out a beard."

• Sometimes Henry cracks himself up: "I coughed so hard I tooted!"

• Yesterday Henry was looking out the front door and saw some people stopped on the sidewalk. He commented, "There's someone talking to no one."

• And today, walking home from CVS pharmacy, we passed a couch leaning vertically against a garage in an alley. Henry said, "THAT doesn't look safe."