A Tour of New Mama's Neighborhood

Come along with me as we take a walking tour of my neighborhood. (Click on any photo to enlarge it, if you're really that interested.)

The first thing we see when we walk out my front door is this sign on the edge of my next-door neighbors' property:


Thanks, K. and I.! I hope you put up that impermeable shield between our yards before spraying toxic chemicals right next to where my one-year old likes to put grass in his mouth!

These neighbors have been nothing but nice to us. However, they also smoke cigarettes on their back patio and use a gas-powered weed whacker every weekend all summer long, making it difficult for us to keep our windows open. But hey, they say hello and wave when we walk out to our car!

Continuing on, to the same hundred block but one street east, we find this charming abode:


This guy lives here:


I could not (and more importantly, would not) make this shit up.

Backtracking a bit, and heading a block east, we come upon this monstrosity:


The photo does not do justice to the junky trashiness that is this family's yard. (Remember, you can click on it to see it even bigger.) Trust me, as bad as this looks, it's one hundred times worse in reality.

Let's walk a little further east, because the abortion house left me wanting to see more yard signs of a biblical nature:


These people even change the message regularly. Why? Why?

Continuing on now, going south toward the park, we find this establishment:


Notice the "Freedom Is Not Free" written to the right of the Statue of Liberty? Yeah. And guns don't kill people; people kill people. Using guns.

The park a few blocks east of the gun shop (there's just something wrong about that description) is actually really nice, one of the few things I like about our neighborhood.

But this blog entry is not about the positives in my community, so let's turn around and walk northeast, shall we?

Ah, it's our friendly neighborhood liquor store, open for business at 10am on a Friday. Could that sign be any bigger? If only they were less cryptic about their wares...


Having loaded up on 40-ouncers and cigarettes, and heading a bit more northeasterly, we find this:


I mean, no community is complete without a deer processing shop.

And finally, a bit out of walking range, but included because I find it funny:


I really need to grow up, because I also find humor in the sign for Mount Hope Lutheran Church just down our street.

Not included in this photo essay is the "gentlemen's" club offering topless dancing about half a mile away from my house. According to their MySpace page they offer a "FREE PRIVATE DANCE WITH EVERY LINCH ORDER!" (I guess they mean "lunch," but I'm certainly not going to correct them.)

Also not included is the mile-long race track that hosts NASCAR competitions and other events. It's about one-and-a-half miles from my house, but we can still hear the little cars buzzing around and around and around even when we're inside.

This is where I live, people. This is home.